May 2015 - Now Showing: What summer movie may be the pearl in the sh*t sandwich

Andy Wise, Angry Men Reviews

Well, it is that time of the year, the wonderful time of the year where studios sh*t out big piles of money that filmmakers sculpted into mounds of feces that we then rub on our face and comment on how great the texture is. This year we all know who is going to win the race for the almighty dollar, Avengers: Age of Ultron is going to ride the wave. No, the question is what movie will come in second or, dare I say, be a polished pearl in the middle of a shit sandwich. Just like every year there is a huge list of movies trying to get your dollar, the question is will they be worth it?

MAD MAX: FURY ROAD

This is my personal pick for surprise hit of the summer. This movie has been reported to be so awesome the studio gave Director George Miller more money to extend the main action sequence. With this money he added something called the “Car Catapult”. Yeah, I’ll be there with fucking bells on.

FANTASTIC FOUR

Look, I don’t really give a sh*t about race in movies, so long as you give me a good story. Fantastic Four is going to live or die by how well Doctor Doom is performed, styled, and written. So far they haven’t put much up with him in it, so I’m a little worried.

TOMORROWLAND

This is my second choice for most likely to be a sleeper hit. Directed by Brad Bird who also made “The Incredibles” and “The Iron Giant” I think this may end up being a decent movie.

POLTERGEIST

Just fuck this movie. It would be a miracle if this movie was good.

ANT-MAN

Chances are this is going to be a hit whether it is going to be good or not. It’s riding the Marvel spunk train behind Avengers. So far I have been underwhelmed, but the latest trailer did make it look like it may be more humorous than other Marvel outings so there is that.

MISSION IMPOSSIBLE - ROUGE NATION

I am so Meh with the Mission Impossible series I don’t think I could sit through this movie. Still it has enough of a fan base I can see it pulling off a surprise weekend.

So these are just a few of the Big Movies coming out this summer (notice I said summer so no “Why is Star Wars not on the list” whining. Who do you think is going to fly and who is crash like a spastic quail on meth?